


Long Way From Home

by ifailbutitry



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, eventual supercorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 17:37:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifailbutitry/pseuds/ifailbutitry
Summary: Kara Zor-El wasn't meant to grow up on Earth, but then her planet explodes. Surely that's going to have a lasting impact on the person she becomes.





	1. Chapter 1

Kara wonders if those who created Fort Rozz had ever thought to visit the Phantom Zone themselves; if they had ever considered the humanity of a prison where time did not lapse, and the inhabitants were stuck watching as it passed around them. Did they think it was merciful? That the time in solitude and darkness would change those who had broken the law? What was it that made them believe that being completely away from society, isolated and alone, would reform them rather than further alienate them? Did those who guard the prison get to go home often? Or were they essentially trapped as well, watching time pass outside of the Zone, knowing that their loved ones were moving on without them?

Did they too watch their home explode?

Did the death of Krypton cut them as it did her?

Was she alone in wishing that she had been there with her family and friends in their last moments?

 

Kara had woken up cycles after Krypton’s demise, unsure of where she was, nor how long she had been there. The console of her pod remained dark as she tapped at the screen, pushing at buttons and pulling at levers, hoping with everything that she had for something to light up. Instead, the pod remained almost completely dark, the only light coming from that of the blinking life support system. She sends a prayer to Rao as she looks out of her pod and sees nothing but distant stars. Her waking moments are spent running calculations in her head. At first, she finds comfort in the problems from her early days of school, the calculations engraved in her memory. They eventually morph into those she did in preparation of the trails and the ones that she had seen in her father’s lab when he was trying to save her home. She mentally dissects them, hoping to see what he could not. She knows that it’s pointless. There’s nothing that can be done now. When she sleeps? When she sleeps she sees her parents’ faces. She watches them say goodbye over and over, holding back the tears they don’t want her to see. She sees her planet exploding from the inside as she rockets into the atmosphere, fading further and further away.

She asks herself why she was sent alone. 

Not alone. With Kal.

She hopes that he survived. That he too isn’t floating, trapped in a prison that he can’t escape from. The thoughts of him are what renew her. They fill her with a restless energy that has her trying to pilot her pod once again. Despite her best efforts, she fails time and time again and is left screaming into the emptiness of space. After some time, the screaming leads to escape attempts as she lashes out on the confines of her pod, hoping to escape even if it means the end. 

When hope fades, all that is left is numbness. She feels the loss of her home and nothing else. She has no idea how long she has been there. Only that she will drift through space for eternity, reliving the death of everything she knows until she is completely mad. Until she can find a way to end it. 

And then the console lights up. Three dots in the shape of a triangle.


	2. Chapter 2

She doesn’t dare to hope. Not as she leaves the Phantom Zone, nor as she draws closer to Earth. When her pod is engulfed in flames, she knows she’s right not to believe. She leans back in her seat and closes her eyes as she speeds towards the ground, awaiting the inevitable impact. When it comes, it rocks her and her ship to its core, but surprisingly both remain intact. Before she can act, the pod is being ripped open and a man encased in yellow is reaching out to her.

The light is blinding, brighter than anything she has ever seen. She flinches back into her seat, spots dancing along her vision. The man’s first words are in a language that she doesn’t understand, but when she fails to respond he switches to broken Kryptonian. 

It doesn’t take much for her to believe it’s Kal-El. He looks almost exactly like his father, save for his eyes that mirror Lara’s. He’s stumbling over his words as if he learned to speak from crystals. As she takes in his face she realizes that he most likely has. It’s a reminder of the ways she had failed him. Left him to grow on this planet without her and without the knowledge of his people. When he kneels before her she lets her hands trace the planes of his face, whispering apologies while holding back tears. She refuses to let them fall when he is the one that should be upset. He reassures her as he scoops her up and the next thing she knows they’re flying, bursting through the clouds with a boom. 

The city is a lot different from those she grew up in. Everything seems smaller as she looks up at the buildings. Of the planets she has visited, never has she seen one that looked so underwhelming. When they stop in what looks to be Kal’s abode, her hand goes through a table as she stumbles, overwhelmed by the barrage of sounds that suddenly hit her. It’s the first of many objects to be crushed in her path before her cousin grasps her shoulders. She clutches at her own hands, terrified that she’s going to break something else.

_“Breathe Kara.”_ He takes a deep breath of his own, placing one of her hands over his chest. _“Focus on the sound of my voice. Filter everything else out until all that you hear is me.”_ She can’t decipher what he says, but she can feel the strong heartbeat beneath her palm. She lets the steady rhythm ground her until she eventually hears the thumping. A crinkle forms between her brow as she focuses on the sound. Slowly everything else settles. She hesitantly removes her hand but keeps her ears attuned to her cousin.

“Clark. I’m home!” The door swings open with a bang and Kara startles. Kal shoots to his feet as well.

“Lois.” She enters the room, eyes going wide at the destruction that is the living room. “I was going to warn you.” He is waved aside as she approaches the stranger in their apartment. The small blonde watches her every movement, inching in front of Kal as the woman gets closer. Lois shoots Clark a look of amusement over the blonde’s head.

“This is Kara, her ship crashed in the desert. Apparently, she’s my cousin” he shrugs sheepishly as he fiddles with the glasses perched on his nose. _“Kara this is Lois Lane.”_ He switches between the two languages, stumbling as he addresses Kara. 

_“Are you hungry?”_ She’s surprised as the woman speaks Kryptonian, no matter how clumsy it is. Her mouth, just like Kal’s, is unable to form the words correctly. _“You must be. I’m sure it was a long trip.”_ The grin that follows does a lot to endear her to Kara. The feast she prepares doesn’t hurt either. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until the aroma of Earth food washes over her.

 

The sun rises and falls nine times while she is with Kal and Lois. He tells her all about growing up on Earth. She learns of the family that took him in, silently thanking them for succeeding where she failed. He tells her about the Daily Planet and meeting Lois, helping the people of Earth as both a reporter and as Superman. He tells her that he is so glad to have found her, to have found another piece to his past. 

Then he sends her away.

 

_“This is Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers. They’re good people.”_

“It’s nice to meet you.” Lois had helped her prepare her response. When they start talking amongst themselves though, she only understands bits and pieces. She lets her eyes wander, taking in her surroundings, and spots eyes peeking through an upstairs window. She tilts her head, trying to make out the face looking back at her. She gasps as the house fades away and she’s looking at bones. When she takes a step back she feels the concrete under her feet crack. The distraction helps return her sight to normal.

_“I’m sorry,”_ her eyes widen. This is why Kal is sending her away. 

_“It’s okay.”_ She knows it isn’t. 

 

She can immediately tell that the youngest Danvers doesn’t like her. Her sharp eyes follow her every movement. Even before she understands her words, she can tell from her tone that she doesn’t want her here. Kara understands. She is an intruder. Her parents had sent her away, Kal had sent her away, and she’s sure that the Danvers are next. 

Her first night there her nightmares wake her. She gasps awake, finding it difficult to breathe. She’s nearly invincible on this planet but that’s not how it feels. She ends up on the front porch, her arms wrapped around her legs and her head tilted towards the sky. She’s tired but she can’t bring herself to attempt sleep again. 

The next day she can feel Alex’s eyes on her as soon as she comes down the stairs. Eliza and Jeremiah do their best to engage with her. Eliza asks if she wants to help with breakfast. Everything goes well until the machine she put the bread in pops up. Her eyes heat up on instinct at the sudden noise and the contraption is left smoking as the heat from her gaze sets it aflame. She avoids the kitchen once she puts the fire out, retreating back into herself. Jeremiah has her join him after that.

They spend hours in his lab, Kara watching as he clumsily stumbles through equations. She tilts her head trying to follow his train of thought. She’s mostly silent as he works, watching as he continues to scribble down on a large clear board problem after problem. Her hands itch to reach out but instead remain tangled up in each other. She bites at her palm, trying to get the words to leave her mouth.

He’s paying her no mind when her hand reaches out towards the desk and the pen that’s sitting on it. She’s diligent in moving slowly, knowing that if she isn’t focused her hand will shoot out and through the table without a thought. As soon as she feels the cool wood against her hand she slides her palm towards the pen and grasps it as lightly as she can. Scribbling down the original problem, she sets to work. It isn’t until her pen snaps that Jeremiah notices her movement. 

“I… I’m sorry.” The ink from the pen is now covering her hand, the table, and the work she had been doing.

“It’s okay,” his smile is kind as he goes to help clean up the mess. He’s nearly done when he catches the bit of work that is not covered in splatters of blue. 

“There was… it is wrong.” She stutters as she tries to find the words and avoid making the man angry. 

“What?” She moves towards the large board and carefully picks up the dry erase. His mistake was a small one but threw off the rest of his work. She erases part of the third step and then continues altering his work bit by bit. He gets closer as she works. When she finishes and looks over to him, the grin that overtakes his face is overwhelming and she tentatively tries to reciprocate. 

He questions her more as he works after that, tries to learn what she knows. She’s slow to respond, tripping over her words, but it’s the most at home she’s felt since arriving at this planet. More than when Kal spoke to her in her language or when Lois sat with her teaching her about Earth. Eliza finds them eventually and gets sucked in as well. Kara finds herself hoping that the days stay like this. She hopes that she’ll continue to help rather than sabotage. Everything runs smoothly until the sun goes down and it’s time to eat. Alex’s watchful eyes turn to glares that have her fidgeting in her seat. She breaks the plate that’s handed to her, then bends the fork she’s given in two. 

She can’t help but feel that for every bit of progress she makes, there’s something to counteract it. 

She gives up on dinner the second time her utensil bends.

She gives up on sleep that night when she wakes up with thoughts of Krypton’s last moments on her mind. 

It becomes a familiar routine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while. I have thoughts of where I'd like to go, but am still working out how to get there

“You’re floating,” Alex’s harsh voice pulls her out of her trance, and she stumbles to the ground, grimacing as her feet dig into the pliant dirt. 

“Hard to pass as normal when you fly away whenever you're lost in thought.”

“Sorry.” She’s getting quite familiar with the word.

“Lois is on the phone.” She lets Alex lay the receiver in her hand, her fingers remaining uncurled as the girl walks away. Kara gingerly closes her hand as she brings the phone to her ear.

“Hello,” her voice is soft, and Alex strains to hear from her spot on the porch. She can only hear snippets of their conversation but it’s clear that Kara needs this conversation by the way her shoulders slowly drop and the muscles in her back relax. She can see a small smile on the alien’s profile, her feet once again just brushing the tips of grass. 

Alex finds herself scoffing at the situation. The girl clearly doesn’t want to be here, and she can’t say that she wants her there either. She’s an unwelcome visitor and now Alex is responsible for helping the Kryptonian hide. She’s expected to help someone with extraordinary powers blend in, protect someone who can turn rock into sand in an instant. How is she supposed to live up to that? Clark had just dropped off this kid and she is supposed to treat her like a sister when she knew nothing about her. 

Kara looks over her shoulder at the sound, her feet gently touching down to Earth this time. The blonde sends her a tentative smile. The rest of the girl’s face didn’t seem to get the memo that it was supposed to be smiling. Alex just rolls her eyes before heading inside. 

They had to share a room, she didn’t have to like her. 

 

“How are you?” Kara asks Lois as soon as she brings the phone to her ear. It’s easier to ask Lois than to have Lois ask her.

“I’m good, the Daily Planet is keeping me busy. I’m investigating a Senator right now and some shady business dealings.”

“Senator?”

“It’s a type of politician.” Kara nods along, making a mental note to look into it later.

“How is Ka- Clark?” she corrects.

“He’s well. Busy. He’s in Gotham right now helping a friend. We miss you, things are too quiet with you gone,” Kara bites at her hand where her palm and her thumb meet and hums. “How are the Danvers? Things going okay?”

“They are kind. Jeremiah allows me to join him in his lab. Eliza visits as well. We were discussing Epigenetic therapy today and neurodegenerative diseases that the people of Earth suffer from. The genetic makeup of humans is quite different than those of Kryptonians and others in the Andromeda Galaxy.”

“Sounds like they are enjoying having you there. I’m glad that you’ve found common ground with them. What about Alex?” She looks over her shoulder, surprised to see the youngest Danvers looking at her, a hard look on her face. She floats back to the ground and sends a tentative smile her way. In response, she receives a roll of the eyes and Alex stomping inside.

“She’s helping me fit in.” She responds eventually. 

 

She stayed on the phone with Lois until everyone in the Danvers’ house, sans Eliza, was in bed. The matriarch sent her to her shared room and then retreated to her own. Kara noted the steady thump of her heartbeat and the slowing of her breathing that signaled her falling to sleep. That had been hours ago.

Kara had never been afraid of the dark back on Krypton. She had known that even in the darkness, Rao was there. In the Phantom Zone she could not say the same. She tried to close her eyes and picture Rao rising over the horizon. Tried to remember the feeling of warmth she was engulfed by when the light would shine through her bedroom window. Instead, she would conjure the images of Krypton in its last moments. Images of her mother’s comforting smile as she closed the pod followed by the image of her home exploding from within. 

She had told her father that she was not afraid. She had told her mother that she would not fail Kal-El. She thought she had been telling the truth on all accounts. Instead, she had lied.

Even after she lands on Earth, she can’t shake the darkness of her prison. She had failed. Kal-El had grown up alone. Had been forced to discover this new world and his abilities without her. He knew nothing of his home except what could be gained from knowledge crystals. Her failure was apparent when he dropped her off with the Danvers. He didn’t think twice when abandoning the last tie to his home planet. She couldn’t blame him. She had one job when she left for Earth. She was to raise Kal-El. Instead, he was left on his own for twenty-four years. It was only fair that she now be left just as he had been. 

As she rests on the roof of her new household, she can hear the Phantom Zone whispering to her, calling her home. She can’t tell if it’s actually the depths of space or if it’s the vast space that was left within her, but she does all that she can to ignore it. When the voices get louder, she lets the other sounds in as well, hoping to drown them out. Everything intensifies as she lets her barriers down. She can hear the snoring from down the hall, Jeremiah no doubt. She can hear the sounds of the city from miles away, horns honking even in the dead of night. There’s a pencil moving furiously against paper and so many voices. There are whispers and flying words. Screams as people argue. Babies wailing and parent’s pleading for rest. There are trains and gunshots. There’s…

“Kara?”

There’s Alex.

There’s a steady heartbeat as the girl pulls herself up onto the roof from their bedroom window. It’s not until she gets close that Kara hears her heart falter. A hand is raised to the side of her face and she remains as still as she can, the fear of breaking something holding her in place. 

“You’re bleeding.” Kara is sure the confusion on Alex’s face is mirrored on her own. 

“Bleeding?” The words sound strange coming from the Kryptonian’s mouth. They’re choppy and unsure as she tries to form the foreign word. She understands when her hands land where Alex’s were and come away stained red. 

It’s the first time she truly feels since coming to Earth. She can feel her shattered eardrum mending as Alex wipes the blood from around her ear, but she knows it was there. Knows that a little piece of her still remains.

Just for that moment, the whispers stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure what I think of my own writing. Let me know what you think?

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think?
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ifailbutitry)


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